


Where The Sun Is Mute

by silkendreammaid



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist
Genre: M/M, mute Edward, wmc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-03
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2017-12-04 04:22:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/706482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silkendreammaid/pseuds/silkendreammaid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Edward Elric can always make himself heard</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. To Be Heard

**To Be Heard**

It was a rhythmic thumping and the Colonel smiled as it got closer. Step, thump, step, thump. Heavy soles on heavier boots approaching in a rapid fluid beat. The uneven sounds of the left and right feet melded into a smooth rhythm. Some days Roy Mustang felt that beat match his pulse and he would go still, holding himself in a silent second to listen. Even through all the other noises around him, he could hear it clearly. The normal right foot, the harder, heavier left; the strength inherent in every mismatched footstep. It never ceased to amaze him just how far those pounding feet had walked. Nor just how far those same feet would go in the future.

As the noise became louder and closer, the Colonel’s dark head lowered and when the blond entered the office, he appeared to be completely engrossed in the file before him. Those heavy forceful steps pounded closer and came to a stop in front of his desk. Without looking up, he knew he was there. The smell of the outside, damp today, it must be raining, of machinery, when was he due to leave for his next check-up?, and sweat, he came straight to me. It was all there wafting towards him as the youth stopped moving. A file slapped hard onto his desk and two gloved hands crashed down on either side of it. Dark eyes looked up to meet the expressive gold shades of Edward Elric’s eyes.

“It’s all in the file, Colonel.” The voice came from behind Edward, lighter, emptier. The voice of Edward Elric was that of his brother. The vibrant, golden youth was mute. 

“Thank you.” He replied without breaking his intense survey of those golden eyes. Always, always they would stare at each other, locked into a conversation no-one else could hear. A dark eyebrow rose and a smirk appeared, to be answered by a glowering frown. A wider smirk and a tilted head brought about grinding of teeth and narrowed eyes. Leaning back and almost smiling had gloved hands slamming onto his desk again. Leaning forward, elbows on the desk and resting his chin on his hands resulted in one of those gloved hands reaching across to gently grip at his hair and he was pulled forward to waiting lips.

Brief, not too long, but long enough and the kiss ended and they held their position for a moment longer, foreheads touching and eyes staring before they smiled and moved apart, back to their designated positions. The smiles faded from their faces but it remained in their eyes. Edward lifted one hand, opening it and holding his fingers up. Roy nodded.

“Five it is.”

“Only if your paperwork is completed,” the crisp voice of Lieutenant Hawkeye interjected as she appeared to place several files on his desk. Roy grimaced and Ed grinned widely before looking at her and waving his hand in a quick gesture from her to Roy and back again.

“Yes, I’ll make sure he does it in time.” Hawkeye smiled at him and Ed nodded, smiling back. He looked at the Colonel and smirked slightly before waving and turning away. Metal echoed slightly as a gloved right hand landed lightly on his brother’s shell. Al nodded and moved with him, saying the words Edward couldn’t as they passed the others. With a light ‘good-bye’ and a wave they were gone.

“You’d better get started, Sir, if you wish to be ready for your date.” Hawkeye said sternly after the uneven footsteps had faded away. Her eyes twinkled as she added, “You know what happened last time you were late.”

“Yes.” Roy nodded and gave a small laugh. The alchemy that had trapped and dragged him from the office had been silent but the yelling and swearing accompanying it had not. “He may not be able to speak, but he can certainly make himself heard when he wants to.”


	2. To Be Seen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roy Mustang will always see Edward Elric

Major Edward Elric made his way along the white hallways and corridors. In his usual fashion he stomped hard. Even though he couldn’t hear it, he had no other way of warning people he was approaching. So he always pounded his feet. One harder than the other in a rhythm he could feel echoed by his pulse. It flowed through him and he walked to that soundless beat all the time.

Behind him was his brother. The cool metal tang he could smell and almost taste on the air was one of the two most important constants in his life. He always knew where his brother was. Beyond the door ahead was the other constant. Roy Mustang.

He turned to his brother as they stopped in front of the door and Al placed his hand on Ed’s shoulder, a gentle squeeze saying all Ed couldn’t hear. Ed smiled, and Al made a shooing motion with his other hand. Ed nodded and turned to the door, opening and it and slipping through quietly.

The dark head tilted, turning towards him and he saw the rare smile appear. Ed nearly smiled in return as he walked, no longer stomping, his footsteps almost faltering as he got closer. He came to a slow stop and he had to take a deep breath before he reached for the questing fingers of the man in the bed. The smile that had begun to fade returned and he was pulled close.

The thin lips moved in the shape he knew was his name and he froze as Roy’s free hand came up to cup his face. Slender fingers moved over his face, gently exploring. They lingered across his lips, paused over damp eyelashes and then moved to slide into his hair. A small tug brought his face close and he kept still as Roy gently kissed his eyes, his nose before moving to capture his mouth and he was pulled onto the bed.

When Ed lifted his head again, he brought his left hand up to his mouth and pulled his glove off before running warm flesh fingers across the pale face in front of him. Tracing along the edges of the bandages that concealed the expressive dark eyes, he kept his touch light. Then he began moving through the dark silky hair, easing it free of the wrappings that circled Roy’s head and smoothing it down. Without sight, without speech, this was the only way he could think of to let Roy know what he was feeling.

A finger tapped at his chest and he looked down. Roy’s finger moved in a pattern over Ed's shirt and he watched, understanding flaring and he blinked rapidly a few times.

_Thank you._

Ed saw Roy smiling and closed his own eyes. It was one thing to be unable to say anything, but to not be able to see. That he couldn’t comprehend. And being able to see the expressions in those dark eyes, it was the way they spoke to each other. What would he do if he couldn’t talk to Roy like that again? The doctors had said, had repeated it several times for him, that it was only temporary. What if they were wrong? His hands tightened and for a brief moment he pressed closer. He kept his eyes shut as his hand smoothed over Roy's chest before responding.

_Stupid bastard._ He could feel the laugh that went through Roy.

"Shrimp."

_Not short!_ He pressed firmly as he wrote and Roy shifted slightly, settling his head against Ed’s.

_Is it dark?_ Ed suddenly asked.

"No."

_What do you see?_

_I see you._ Roy's fingers moved steadily finishing the last letter over Ed's heart.

It wasn’t dark and it wasn’t silent, even as they lay there, eyes closed, saying nothing as Ed replied.


	3. To Be Spoken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After an assignment gone wrong, Roy is left beside a silent Edward's bed.

Dark eyes remained focused on the sleeping young man as he listened to the voices swirling around him. Words he wasn't completely hearing filtered into his mind and he waited patiently until they stopped. Only then did he look away from his golden-haired – heart, soul- subordinate and turn to face them.

"Thank you gentlemen." His eyes scanned their white coats and blue uniforms. "I'll stay here until he wakes."

His manner and facial expression gave them no recourse but to leave and he waited again until they were gone and the door closed behind them. He knew that there would be a guard outside the door. He knew that they would be back. He knew that they were watching him closely. As closely as they were watching Edward.

He sat down and began to reach for the flesh hand and then stopped, his hand dropping, resting on the sheets a bare inch away. So many years ago he had seen him like this; laying on a bed, still as death. He had found out later that Edward had heard every word he had spoken. This time he didn't know, no-one knew. Edward was sleeping and that's all they could tell him. He was sleeping and he wasn't waking up.

Not a coma, not the unconsciousness he had been in earlier, now it was a deep, deep sleep that he wasn't waking from.

"…my fault." Roy's voice whispered slowly, the words rising from a throat thick with regrets and still lined with bruises. "I should have ordered you to stay behind. Not that you would have obeyed me if I had." And the words that would have made him smirk at any other time failed now to relieve any of the heaviness he still felt.

He had known it had been a trap from the very first moment. That had been the purpose of the assignment and he had willingly borne the results of walking into it, knowing that the time he had to endure would be limited. But someone had failed to tell Edward of that part of the assignment and he had come after him, hell-bent on rescue. Never had Roy been so terrified as when he had seen Edward rushing into the middle of the skirmish. And when Edward had been struck, his nightmare had become real. The four remaining traitors had not survived the unleashing of his fear in flames.

His fingers reached and lightly touched the warm lax fingers of his lover. "I'm sorry." The dark head lowered and his eyes stared at their joined fingertips. "I've never been so scared and I don't ever want to feel like that again, Edward." The words slipped out and he closed his eyes. "I don't want to lose you."

Roy fell silent. Because of Ed's muteness, Roy had to say the words for both of them. It was he who spoke the words he saw in Edward's eyes, or the answers he read upon his skin as the blond 'spoke' with his hands. Because of Edward, Roy Mustang had learnt to speak.

It was the featherlike twitch of fingers against his that had his eyes opening and looking up to see hazy gold eyes looking at him. The breath that left him in a sudden rush caught him by surprise, as did the prickling behind his eyes. The wavering twitch of Edward's lips had him clutching at the blond's hand as the nascent smile flared briefly before disappearing. A sudden frown creased Edward's brow and he tried to lift his hand. Roy tightened his grip slightly and noted the direction of Edward's gaze.

"It's just bruised, Ed. I'm okay." Roy lifted his free hand and lightly traced over the bruises around his neck, and Edward's eyes focused on the wrist and Roy smiled slightly. "Yes, that's just bruising too."

Edward twined his fingers around Roy's and pulled slightly and Roy went with the movement, leaning closer. Another pull had Edward's fingers free and his hand came up to touch and explore Roy's neck and throat. The golden eyes swam slightly and Roy began to shake his head.

"This is not your fault, Edward. It was part of the mission, I knew what was going to happen."

Edward shook his head once and his fingers tightened slightly over the bruising before letting go and jabbing at himself and then back to Roy. It was the blame in those wide eyes that filled in the gaps between his actions and Roy saw it, read it and spoke it.

"No, you are not to blame. You weren't too late. You could not have stopped it. It had to happen Edward. Without my being caught, we would never have exposed them." Roy lifted his hand and brushed the hair away from Ed's forehead and gentle fingers lightly ran over the lump hidden under the loose hair. "It's my fault. I should have made sure you knew exactly what was going to be involved. You should not have been hurt."

Edward rolled his eyes slowly and reached to move his finger over Roy's chest, 'speaking' as only Edward did. _Idiot. I had to come._

"I know, but Ed, you have to stop blaming yourself," Roy replied and Ed grimaced at him before tugging at the loose shirt Roy wore. With a tilted head, Edward inched over and Roy moved from the chair to settle himself on the bed. "Seeing you get hurt hurts me."

_Same._

"And you were hurt worse than I was." Roy felt the shrug Ed gave as the shorter man curled up against him, and frowned at the casualness of that movement. "You may be used to it, but I'm not. Seeing you fall like that…don't do that again."

_You needed me._

"I need you alive and by my side, not dead on some warehouse floor somewhere." Roy wrapped his arm around the blond and pulled him close.

_They took your gloves._

"And another ten minutes would have seen the others enter and the mission completed."

 _Did not know. Could not wait._ Edward pressed the words firmly onto Roy's chest before tilting his head up and Roy could see the emotions that had led Ed to break through that door, to rush in. Roy smiled and bent his head to kiss him. Arms wound around him and the kiss deepened as Edward stretched against him. Roy broke the kiss for a moment.

"Don't get hurt again," he murmured against the blond's forehead. An impossible request and they both knew it.

_Or you._

"And thank you for coming to rescue me," Roy whispered as he trailed his mouth back over Edward's face to his mouth.

 _But I failed._ Ed moved back slightly, the pressure of his finger lessening, and Roy shook his head, denying the words he still felt on his chest.

"No you didn't. You came, that's all that matters." Roy tugged at the blankets and wormed his way under them before pulling Edward close again. "I drew a circle, you know. When you dropped. For the first time in years I had to draw a circle. If that doesn't show you how much I love you, then I don't know what does, Ed."

Edward smiled and brought his free hand up to run through Roy's dark hair, pulling him close to kiss again. His other hand slid around Roy and his fingers wrote the last coherent words either of them spoke for quite some time. _You talk too much._


	4. To Be Tasted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edward tastes of salt

Roy Mustang knew the taste of blood and sweat. The salt tang tainted with iron and acrid despair. He disliked the feel of it on his own skin; he absolutely hated tasting it on Edward.

The silent blond sat on his bunk obviously exhausted and to Roy’s eyes, completely dispirited. It had been a hard mission and it showed. Alphonse had submitted the mission report on his own and Roy had left him in Hawkeye’s care and come straight to the boys’ room.

Ed’s clothes were dirty, his boots caked in mud. Automail showed dully through his torn glove, his hair was half out of its braid and as dirty as the rest of him. He didn’t move as Roy entered.

“Al told me,” Roy said softly as he stepped in front of Edward. Pulling off his gloves he knelt down and touched his warm fingers to Ed’s chilled face. “I’d take you to my quarters but I doubt you’d manage the walk. And much as you need to clean up, I think it can wait a bit longer.”

Roy shifted and pulled Ed’s boots off. Ed offered no resistance to the man-handling but no help either and the docility of the young man was slightly disconcerting. Roy kept talking as he slowly undressed him.

“Grego didn’t have any proper alchemical training, Ed. He was a tragedy waiting to happen once he started.” Roy eased Ed out of his red coat and the short black jacket. He dropped them to the side finding them heavy with filth. 

“Grego made his own choice to cast that circle in the town centre. You weren’t even there.” Roy told him reaching to pull his hair free its messy braid. Ed twitched and Roy leant close, brushing his lips against Ed’s forehead and tasting salt. The stale salt of dried blood and sweat. “No, it wasn’t your fault. You weren’t late. You could not have gotten there any earlier.” Roy tasted more blood as his mouth travelled down the side of Ed’s face. His voice was impossibly gentle.

“Four people died, yes but forty more survived because of you.” Ed shifted again, his head dropping down and Roy closed his eyes. “You can’t always save them all, Ed. You save as many as you can and that’s what you did.”

_Al._

The hard touch of automail pressed the word into Roy’s chest and Roy’s breath caught before he let it out slowly. 

“It wasn’t him,” Roy murmured as he pulled the young man close against him. Al had told him of the dead boy who had looked too much like Al had once been and Ed had only just been stopped from another ill-fated human transmutation attempt. “It wasn’t him,” Roy repeated.

Ed shook in his grasp for long moments and when he lifted his head for Roy’s kiss, Roy tasted the sweetest salt of tears.


	5. To Be Touched

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After two years all Roy wants to do is touch Edward

 

 

Roy has a dream. He dreams of Edward Elric walking into his office no longer weighted down with automail, with Alphonse completely human beside him and Roy dreams that Edward speaks.

In the dream Ed’s voice is a clear tenor, ranting the words his flailing hands have always voiced before and the one word that Roy wants to hear more than any other is a constant refrain throughout.

_“Hey Roy! You bastard Colonel! What the fuck did you mean sending us to the forsaken village! They kept their pigs in their houses, Roy! We had to fumigate the damned hovel they called a hotel before we could even get in the door! And then there was nothing to be found. Dammit Roy, you got to…” Hey Roy… Roy … Dammit Roy… Roy… Roy._

Roy knows that Ed hasn’t spoken since the night he and Al tried and failed to resurrect their mother. Roy knows that Ed screamed himself mute that night, tearing vocal chords while alchemy tore arm and leg away as he lost his brother only able to save Al’s soul with a tenuous bond to a suit of armour.

Roy knows that it’s been two years since Edward disappeared leaving behind a restored, younger and amnesiac Al and with each passing month Roy finds it harder to understand why he still hopes. And dreams.

The fact that he’s in a hot air balloon is the only reason he knows he’s not dreaming when he sees Edward again. He knows exactly how he got here, running to the rescue, believing he was saving Central. Not knowing Edward had returned. _Edward_ who was obviously trying to save Central as well, Edward is hanging from the side of a shaky alchemical stone tower with his brother while under heavy gunfire. Roy _snaps_ automatically and the guns are obliterated in fire.

He stares at Edward across what seems an endless stretch of sky but is probably no more than twenty feet. The wind tugs at golden hair and unfamiliar clothes as it streams between them. Roy sees Edward open his mouth and recognizes the shape of his name and he smiles almost brokenly in response.

A metal hand lets go and reaches for him and golden eyes are fixed on him. There is shock and determined purpose in those eyes and it doesn’t quite hide the longing.

“Get a grip, Edward!” Roy shouts harshly, his fear of Ed falling over-riding all else and he nearly collapses in relief as Ed grips at his tower with both hands. He can see Al hanging from the other side and he shouts again, hoping to get the young man moving. “If you’re going to strike, do it _now,_ Fullmetal!”

His balloon rises higher but he can see the brothers scrambling back onto their platform and alchemy flares brilliantly as a stone spike spears straight through the black flying machine. Roy _snaps_ again destroying new guns as they erupt from the sides of the plane. He jumps and lands on the spike a few steps ahead of the Elrics and stays in front of them, racing and _snapping_ their way upwards.

“Not quite how I was expecting to see you again, Edward,” he tosses over his shoulder as they run. “But I should have realized you’d bring trouble with you.”

They reach the plane and duck behind a fallen truss. A metal hand grips his shoulder and he is turned to see Edward grinning at him quite unabashedly. A raised eyebrow and fingers come up flicking at his eye patch.

Roy easily reads the question. “The Fuhrer and I had a falling out,” he says with a twist of his lips. His gloved hand reaches for Ed’s fingers but gunfire rattles around them and Roy is up with fire racing out to silence the guns again. “You have to go now Fullmetal, and finish this, I’ll guard the entrance.”

The look they share is not enough and the urge to reach out and _touch_ , _hold_ and _stay_ is incredibly strong, but Roy is a soldier and he knows that duty must come first. Ed too, has been a soldier and he understands it as well. But more than that Ed is an alchemist first and foremost and he has seen – he has created one - the abominations that alchemy can spawn and that bring destruction and unbelievable suffering. He’s not about to let another one live. Eckart must be destroyed.

Edward swallows hard as does Roy before Ed turns away and then the Fullmetal Alchemist is running into the belly of the beast without a backward glance.

Al scrambles to follow him and Roy knows he can call neither back. Instead he stands tall and blows everything he can up.

When an explosion not his rocks the plane he knows Ed is responsible. When the plane starts falling apart as the alchemy holding it together fails he runs towards where he hopes Ed is.

Ed isn’t there but Al is. Al is kneeling at the edge of a burnt and twisted circle and screaming. Screaming for Ed, crying for his brother. Roy staggers and doesn’t know if the terrible pain in his chest or the falling plane caused it.

“Al! _AL_!” Roy shouts and grabs Alphonse, shaking him out of his despair. “Where’s Ed?!”

“Gone,” Al could barely speak for the sobs choking his throat. “He … he _made_ a Gate and … and took Eckart with him.”

Roy frowns. “Can we make one of these Gates?”

Al’s head shakes violently. “No, no, it’s … a Gate is…” Al stops and stills completely. His eyes suddenly widen. “ _Equivalent Exchange_ ,” he breathes. “We have to get out of here. I know … I know some place that we might be able to … to…”

“To find Edward?” Roy asks with the faintest of hope.

“Yes.”

Getting down from the machine is easier than getting up to it was. Running through the broken streets and avoiding other soldiers and well-meaning friends was slightly more challenging, but finally Al leads them to a collapsed building. With alchemy they tunnel their way through collapsed brick and debris.

Roy looks out over what had once been the ruin of a lost city. A vast empty space that is seared with alchemical symbols and circles is all that remains. He can smell the alchemy in the air.

“There’s a Gate here,” Al says in a hushed tone that still echoes. “I used it to try and get Ed back but…”

“But something else came through,” Roy finishes for him with a sigh.

“Brother said there was a link to the world he was in,” Al whispered.

Roy closes his eye and takes a deep breath before he manages to say the words. “We need to close this Gate.”

“But Brother…” Al’s protest is a thin whine of pain and denial.

“I know,” Roy replies as his eye fills behind its closed lid.

Sacrifices, the prices of victory.

Roy’s heart pounds as studies the circles. It is loud in his ears and makes his hands shake. There should be a limit to the amount of pain a man could feel he thinks because he doesn’t want to survive only to feel like this the rest of his life. He studies the circles and picks out the lines that will close the gate while granting him his wish.

He searches for the controlling links and finds a point where he can ignite a sequence and cause a catastrophic failure. He follows the links and circles and sees where he will lose control of the fire. Al must be gone by that time. He doesn’t want Al to die as well.

He is about to tell Al – well, not quite all of his plan - but enough to keep the boy from sacrificing himself as well when the roaring of his blood rushing brings him to his knees.

Out of the middle of the array that is starting to flare with blue lightening Edward, _Edward_ is walking towards him. Edward - with his stomping walk that synchronizes exactly with his pounding heart – is _alive_ and _walking towards him_.

“Edward,” he breathes out and Al rushes to grab his brother tightly. Ed grins over Al’s shoulder and Roy staggers to his feet. He steps closer wanting to grab and hold and _touch_ but the ground shakes and lightening explodes across the array.

“ _Run_!” Roy orders and they start fleeing through crumbling tunnels and debris. They stumble out into the broken streets of Central and shelter behind what rubble they can find as dust billows out and the tunnels are sealed completely.

Later Edward will write his words on Roy’s skin as he tells him how he gave Eckhart to the Gate, how equivalent exchange isn’t really that equivalent at all and how the Gate is now closed to both sides. Later Roy will whisper the words Edward will never be able to say.

But for now they stand in the rubble of a Central street and Roy’s ungloved hand is holding tight to Edward’s flesh hand as metal fingers grip his dark hair and Roy’s other hand is curled at the back of Ed’s neck with their foreheads touching as they breathe each other in.

Now that he finally has Edward back Roy doesn’t intend to ever let him go again and Edward is more than fine with that.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Much of this last chapter comes from the FMA movie Conqueror of Shamballa with which, it is obvious, i have taken considerable freedoms with. 
> 
> This marks the end of this fic, it is now complete.

**Author's Note:**

> This is fic that i wrote under a different name on ffnet many years ago ...


End file.
